What is Al-Anon?

The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope, in order to solve their common problems.

We believe alcoholism is a family illness, and that changed attitudes can aid recovery. Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization, or institution; does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self-supporting through its own voluntary contributions.

Al-Anon has but one purpose: to help families of alcoholics. We do this by practicing the Twelve Steps, by welcoming and giving comfort to families of alcoholics, and by giving understanding and encouragement to the alcoholic.

The Suggested Al-Anon Preamble to the Twelve Steps
Reprinted with permission
from the Al-Anon/Alateen Service Manual 2010 – 2013 (p12)
© 1992, Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc.

How Will Al-Anon
Help Me?

Al-Anon meetings are for anyone whose life has been affected by someone else’s drinking. Alateen meetings are open to children in the teen years.

Many who come to Al-Anon or Alateen are in despair, feeling hopeless, unable to believe that things can ever change. We want our lives to be different, but nothing we have done has brought about change. We all come to Al-Anon because we want and need help.

In Al-Anon and Alateen, members share their own experience, strength, and hope with each other. You will meet others who share your feelings and frustrations, if not your exact situation. We come together to learn a better way of life, to find happiness whether the alcoholic is still drinking or not.

Is Al-Anon For You?

Help is here for the asking. Our 20-question self-quizzes can help you decide if Al-Anon may be of help. Select a quiz, listed below, and ask yourself the questions. If you identify with some of the sentiments, we encourage you to give Al-Anon a try!

• Are You Troubled by Someone’s Drinking?
• Did You Grow Up with a Problem Drinker?

Is Alateen For You?

Help is here for the asking. Our 20-question self-quiz can help you decide if Alateen may be of help. Select a quiz, listed below, and ask yourself the questions. If you identify with some of the sentiments, we encourage you to give Alateen a try!

Alateen meetings are closed, that is, open only to children in the teen years.

• For Alateen: Has Your Life Been Affected by Someone Else’s Drinking?

Is There Chaos
in Your Life?

Many of us arrived at the doors of Al-Anon without hope and lives filled with chaos. For the millions of people affected by the excessive drinking of someone close to them, every day can be fraught with bitterness, sadness and fear as they guard themselves against the effects of drinking.

In Al-Anon and Alateen, we discovered new ways to look at some of the same situations and hope was restored. Al-Anon is a worldwide fellowship of more than 600,000 relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve their common problems. Al-Anon members suggest you ask yourself the following questions:

• Do you worry about how much someone else drinks?
• Are routines frequently upset, vacation plans canceled, or meals delayed because of the drinker?
• Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
• Does it seem as if every holiday or vacation is spoiled because of someone’s drinking?
• Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
• Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
• Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
• Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
• Do you feel that if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
• Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?

Al-Anon is a safe, confidential place where it is understood how people can love and hate the alcoholic at the same time. Al-Anon helps to make sense out of the confusion that families are consumed with when living with or caring for a problem drinker. Through its Twelve Steps, adapted from Alcoholics Anonymous, Al-Anon members learn to focus on themselves and turn negative situations into positive energy that is physically, mentally and spiritually nurturing.

“One of the wonderful benefits of working the Al-Anon program is learning how to relax. Until now, most of my life sped by in a frenzy of activity. School, work, projects, obligations, all helped me focus outward. That way I didn’t have to rest long enough to feel how frightful my home life was,” writes an Al-Anon member.

A member from New York also writes: “Little by little, I made a life of my own. I started by going on mini-vacations, visiting friends for a weekend. Before Al-Anon I was afraid to do anything. I was scared of my own shadow. The program has given me confidence, self-worth, a renewed faith in a Higher Power and much gratitude.”

Al-Anon is not a religious program. It is fully self-supporting. There are 27,000 groups worldwide, including more than 2,800 Alateen groups for teenage members. If you are concerned about someone else’s drinking, make it your resolution to contact Al-Anon or Alateen.

Detaching with Love

Alcoholism is a family disease. Living with the effects of someone else’s drinking is too devastating for most people to bear without help.

In Al-Anon we learn individuals are not responsible for another person’s disease or recovery from it.

We let go of our obsession with another’s behavior and begin to lead happier and more manageable lives, lives with dignity and rights; lives guided by a Power greater than ourselves.

In Al-Anon We Learn:

• Not to suffer because of the actions or reactions of other people;
• Not to allow ourselves to be used or abused by others in the interest of another’s recovery;
• Not to do for others what they could do for themselves;
• Not to manipulate situations so others will eat, go to bed, get up, pay bills, not drink;
• Not to cover up for anyone’s mistakes or misdeeds;
• Not to create a crisis;
• Not to prevent a crisis if it is in the natural course of events.

Detachment is neither kind nor unkind. It does not imply judgement or condemnation of the person or situation from which we are detaching. It is simply a means that allows us to separate ourselves from the adverse effects that another person’s alcoholism can have upon our lives. Detachment helps families look at their situations realistically and objectively, thereby making intelligent decisions possible.

Al-Anon Is

a worldwide organization that offers a self-help recovery program for the families and friends of alcoholics whether or not the alcoholic seeks help or even recognizes the existence of a drinking problem. Members give and receive comfort and understanding through a mutual exchange of experiences, strength and hope. Sharing of similar problems binds individuals and groups together in a bond that is protected by a policy of anonymity.

Al-Anon Is Not

a religious organization or a counseling agency. It is not a treatment center nor is it allied with any other organization offering such services. Al-Anon Family Groups, which includes Alateen for teenage members, neither express opinions on outside issues nor endorse outside enterprises. No dues or fees are required. Membership is voluntary, requiring only that one’s own life has been adversely affected by someone else’s drinking problem.

Adapted from “Al-Anon Speaks Out” a newsletter for professionals. Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc., 1979. Copyright © Printed with permission.

Approved by World Service Conference Al-Anon Family Groups Pamphlet S-19 – Reprinted with permission of Al-Anon Family Groups, Inc.