Event Coordinator's Report:
Hi, Al-Anon Family!

Well, it’s been a week after the Bash, and I will be gearing up for the New Year as I am learning and growing in service. The bash was a success! My thanks to ALL the committed committee members, who helped make it just that. It was a success in so many ways! I found myself in a moment during the Bash looking out at it all for just a brief moment and said WOW!!! Of course we have all the $$ stuff to iron out, and that again is historically a challenging time. My opinion is we are in a transition, and sometimes transitions can be painful along with wonderful at the same time. My experience says I am not in control of the outcome, my Higher Power is. The only thing I can control is my attitude, and I am decidedly working on that! I do know that the District could not have attempted to do something like this unless there were dedicated individuals in our District willing to volunteer their time and talents to something like this type of event.  I have been doing service at the District level for 10 + years, and I did not know this as a newcomer to service! Over the past 3 years I have seen this "baby" grow. And it needs our attention, our time and our nurturing. So my call out will be for any willing volunteers to step up now for the coming year. We were not able to get a Fall workshop off the ground since the Holiday Bash (Baby) took up our attention . The district’s calendar for next year’s events goes something like this:

- A.A. Hospitals and Institutions Conference with Al-Anon participation, April 13 - 15
- Spring Workshop
- Summer Event
- Sugarloaf Campout
- Fall Workshop
- Alathon Thanksgiving 1 day
- Holiday Bash
- Alathon Christmas 1.5 - 2 days
- Alathon New Years 1.5 - 2 days

Since we the Special Events Coordinators took on the Holiday Bash, the Fall workshop was ignored!!  FYI - none of these events have been historically fundraisers as well. The District is now looking at fundraising.

Please keep a look out for the next Event 07 Committee dates  to be announced soon and plan to attend! We will need all your ideas, talents and hard work along with most important ...  HONEST WILLINGNESS AND COMMITTMENT. In turn you will get lots and lots of ESH!!  

I love you all!
Yours in Service,
Pattie

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Treasurer's Report:
A Request from the District Treasurer --
When sending a check to the district, please put the Al-Anon group number, name, meeting place, day and time on the donation checks. For example: Wednesday night, 8 p.m., Santa Rosa, group #1111111.

Calling all Group treasurers - I'll be doing an end of year report showing where all our money comes from and goes to so I'd be grateful if you could steel yourselves to make sure any group donations you have can be with me by Friday December 29th. That way my report will be PERFECT and up to date, just what we strive for in Al-Anon (NOT!!) Thanks to everyone for your service and here's to another wonderful year in recovery!

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How does service keep me sane? I have to say that maybe it doesn’t.

But for fear of knocking Service, I’ll explain. I’m a great believer in the AWARENESS, ACCEPTANCE and ACTION aspects of the program and service. In my present service position as district treasurer, I’ve become acutely aware of my insanity around control, judgment and letting go. I have learned, from the program, that it won’t kill me to live with these uncomfortable feelings until God grants me some acceptance of myself around them.

Unless I’m AWARE, I won’t get anywhere; and until I ACCEPT myself, my ACTIONS are bound to be a little insane. So for now service is doing a fine job of highlighting my insanity, and for that I’m grateful. This too shall pass.

Keep coming back,
Tina

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BASH 2006 Events Report:
If you didn't go to the Bash this year, you missed a great time. For all the people who came, thanks for showing your support and sharing in a fantastic event.

The Events Coordinators, Paula and Pattie, stood back in awe at their handiwork. Paula said, "I just asked and then let it go." She also said that there was so much help. Last year Paula and Pattie did most of the preparation for the event.

The Speakers, Jessica (Alateen), Ann (Al- Anon), and Dave (A.A.) were so candid and moving. I was so impressed with Jessica's share. Her honesty and struggle touched me on a personal level. She seemed like a person that has been a speaker for years. Calm, funny, soulful and to the point.

This year there are so many people to mention that helped out that the amount of people that help exceeds the amount of room available in the Alagram to print by press time.

I can say, because I was on the decoration committee, the Alateens did an unprecedented piece of art work displayed on the stage. They also did all the centerpieces and hung a ton of holiday lights and decorations. I told them what was needed and turned them loose. Wow, it is amazing how much teens can do when you give them the reins. I love what they did and many, many people complimented on what a great job was done in the bleak Cotati Veterans Hall.

The gift baskets that were raffled off were so beautiful I would have liked to have won one of them. But I guess you had to buy tickets. Oops.

It was hard to pick what basket was my favorite, but I loved and really wanted the Men's group gardening basket extraordinaire. If some of you would like to write in and tell me if you won and how you liked it, I will get it into the next Alagram.

The food was great, fellowship warm, the dancing insane, music unforgettable and clean-up done with out any whining. Of course I feel it was because the band stayed and played music while we worked. They closed with a rendition of "Black Magic Woman" by Santana which got us to move fast and scream with delight when Rod G. did a solo. Damn, that man can play.

Happy Holidays to all of you and warm wishes to you for the New Year.

Don't forget to go to the A.A. New Year's dance at the Vets Building in Santa Rosa across from the Fairgrounds. And if you don't know where that is, call Jerry H., not me.

Love you all so much, my beautiful Al-Anon Family,
Jenny

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Humor Corner:
Life is Iced Tea with Cherries
A group of about six of us from my Al-Anon family group often go out for a snack after our weekly meeting. The waitress at our local down home restaurant has become fond of us, and has realized that my sponsor and I have a fondness for the maraschino cherries that she puts in our iced tea, each with a little colorful paper umbrella.

One day she forgot to put a cherry to my sponsor’s iced tea, but she did give one to me. I realized this before my sponsor did. Our waitress being nowhere in sight, I matter-of-factly took my maraschino cherry out of my glass with a spoon, and carefully cut it in half. I gave half of it to my sponsor, with a grin. She laughed, and accepted it.

A few days later I was enjoying telling my son, who is also working on the twelve steps, about my generosity. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye, and asked me if I was being co-dependent by taking care of her need for a cherry without being asked. Then he said with a chuckle, "No, you only would have been co-dependent if you had given her your whole maraschino cherry!"

- Stephanie H.

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District Representative's Report:
It has been a busy summer for me and I feel somewhat scattered and tired, but at the same time relieved that fall is here which means a slower time for me at work.

I attended the last of three annual Area Committee Meetings for 2006 in Oakland. Here are some of the highlights:

As of October 19, 2006, there were 706 registered groups with the Area, including:
- 52 Alateen meetings
- 22 Institutions meetings
- 37 Spanish speaking meetings
- 20 Men's meetings
- 17 Women's meetings

The WSO needs a Trustee, which is a service position. You must have been in Al-Anon for 10 years and have been a DR, not necessarily a Delegate. I have guidelines available if you are interested.

The WSO is also recruiting for three paid positions. They are:
- Associate Director Group Services (Bilingual Spanish)
- Associate Director Member Services - Alateen
- Spanish Translator

The annual NCWSA Al-Anon and Alateen Convention will be the weekend of April 27-29, held in Squaw Valley. Conventions are a lot of fun -- great speakers, meetings every hour on the hour, prizes/silent auction, a dance, and last but not least, great fellowship. Carpool and share rooms to keep your costs down.

Currently Alateen are using the Al-Anon Traditions. They would like their own.

Alcoholics Anonymous 36th Annual Hospital and Institution Conference with Al-Anon and Alateen Participation will be held in Petaluma April 13-15, 2007 at the Petaluma Veterans Memorial Building. Yet another great opportunity for fellowship, and this time it is local. Let us all be there to support the conference. Look for the PINK flyer.

Last but not least, I am excited about Napa Valley showing so much interest in service work. The Napa "Alateen Coordinator" has given me twelve Alateen Sponsor applications thus far. The Napa Valley would also like to be an independent District, and at the District meetings we are discussing how to go about that. At the District meeting in February 2007 we will have Art B., one of our Past Delegates, come and discuss Intergroup vs. District. You are all invited.

I hope you all had a peaceful Thanksgiving and a great time at the "Friends of Lois and Bill’s Holiday Bash" (Saturday Dec. 2).

Al-Anon hugs,
Erik

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Topic - Sponsorship:
Thoughts on Step Work and Sponsorship
I first came to Al-Anon in April 1990. I bought an ODAT*, and for the next four years I went to one meeting a week. I learned some things about alcoholism, and it helped me be a little more at peace with myself. I heard about sponsors and step work, but it didn¹t appeal to me. The alcoholic in my life continued to drink in spite of rehab and his exposure to Alcoholics Anonymous. I thought I understood the program pretty well and liked the ideas; but not much was really changing in my life. After all, it really was HIS problem, and if he couldn’t put out the effort to go to AA, why should I keep going to Al-Anon?

About six years later a new crisis allowed us both to hit bottom and brought us back to our respective programs. I was in enough pain that I was going to meetings almost daily, and I began doing literature service in my home meeting. As I listened, I began to realize that the people whose lives were changing were also talking about step work and sponsors. I began to want what they had. Someone suggested that a certain Step Study meeting might be helpful, and it was there that I found a sponsor willing to help me work the Steps. My Higher Power was already at work in my life and in my program.

My sponsor’s loving patience allowed me to take my time and to look at myself with new eyes and from a new perspective. It was a wonderfully freeing and healing process that brought me back to a relationship with my Higher Power. I could not have imagined the changes that it would bring in my life. It has helped mend both a wounded spirit and a damaged marriage; both gifts beyond price. It was a freely-given gift from my sponsor, and I can only repay her by passing on the gift. I’m so grateful to have something to pass on! Walking the path of step work with another member of Al-Anon is rewarding. It enriches my program in many ways. Once more I hear another’s struggles and insights about the disease of alcoholism. My Higher Power sees to it that I learn as much from my sponsees as I pass on to them, another blessing in the world of program.

My suggestion to each of you is that if you really want to experience the peace and the power of the program of Al-Anon, find a sponsor and do the Step work. When you¹ve worked those steps to the best of your ability, the changes will be visible to all. Someone will see the gift you¹ve been given and will reach out and ask you to be their sponsor; when that happens say "Yes," and say a prayer for the guidance of your Higher Power.

- Margaret P.

[*ODAT: The reader One Day at a Time in Al-Anon and other CAL (conference-approved literature) can be purchased at most group meetings. - Ed.]

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Topic - Sponsorship:
Sponsorship: The Cornerstone of my Recovery
Like many newcomers to Al-Anon, I heard the word "Sponsor" used at meetings I attended, and it didn't take me long to figure out a Sponsor or having a Sponsor was a good thing. Becoming a Sponsor didn't even enter into my head at that time. After I had been going to meetings for about three or four months, I finally got the courage to ask someone to be my Sponsor. This was hard for me because I was not used to asking for help. Unfortunately, this person turned me down. Apparently, he felt that he was too new in the program to take on this service responsibility. I was disappointed at first, thinking I would never find a Sponsor, but then I realized that it would happen in God’s time, not when I wanted it to. About three or four months later, I again got the courage to ask another person to be my Sponsor, and he said yes. It was at this point that my recovery went to a new level.

My first Sponsor took me through the first three Steps up until the beginning of my 4th Step Inventory. At that point his circumstances in life changed and he no longer had the time to devote to me that I needed. Since I thought it was "all about me," I felt that I didn't deserve a Sponsor. So, I didn't have a Sponsor for about a year. Not a good thing. Looking back now, I had to deal with a lot of stressful things during this time, like the breakup of my marriage of almost eighteen years. I know that having a Sponsor during this time would certainly have been helpful.

Eventually, the hand of Al-Anon was extended to me in my time of need, and for that I am extremely grateful. A person I had known from my home meeting since I had been in program extended that hand. After "test driving" him for about three months, I asked him to be my sponsor. He accepted and has been my Sponsor for the last four years.

For me one of the most important things was that my Sponsor had to be someone I could trust and be able to share my "deepest, darkest secrets" with, which I did with my 5th Step. I was able to do this because he loved and accepted me unconditionally without judgment. Also, another helpful thing that my sponsor does is he "holds up the mirror" in a non judging way and tells me "this is what I see." Then it’s up to me to change what I don't like.

Recently there has been another side to Sponsorship for me, and that is being a Sponsor. This has been a big growth experience for me and has helped my recovery immensely. I feel that Sponsorship is one of the most important forms of service one can do in the Al-Anon program besides being an Alateen Sponsor. Being a Sponsor has taught me how to be a better listener. I have also learned how to be a more compassionate person as well. These are just a few of the many gifts I have received by being a Sponsor.

I think it was around the holidays last year that I thanked my Sponsor for being my Sponsor. His response was, " I thank God for allowing me to do this work." I certainly feel the same and do thank my Higher Power for allowing me to be of service in this capacity. So, I will continue to "keep giving it away so I can keep it."

Gratefully submitted by,
Darrell R.

[Al-Anon Family Groups is a spiritual but not a religious program. Members refer to their Higher Power according to their personal understanding. -Ed.]

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Keeping Focus:
When I Keep the Focus on Myself, I Discover...

• serenity. First and foremost, I discover serenity. Because I am no longer focusing outward and taking on the problems of the world at large, or of my own world, or of my co-workers, or friends, or family, or children, or of my alcoholic, I am able once again to experience serenity more regularly (surprise, surprise!). Serenity is my most valued recovery result. So the most important thing that happens when I keep the focus on myself is that I re-discover serenity.
• gratitude. Because my thoughts are not cluttered by everyone else’s problems, I can more easily see what I have to be grateful for. And there usually ends up being a lot to be grateful for.
• clarity. Because I’m not stressed and confused by everyone else’s problems, I can more easily identify what I have to work on within myself.
• relief. Because I am no longer responsible for trying to fix or manage everything and everyone around me, I am relieved of a great burden.
• how to Let Go and Let God. I came to realize that everyone has their own Higher Power and I am not it. So I can release everyone else’s problems and trust that their own HP is there for them and with them. Then it becomes a matter of learning to turn my own problems over to my HP, which is, for me, even more difficult. But one of the things that helps me do it is to remember that I trust everyone else’s problems to their HP’s. Why should I be any different? Certainly, I can then trust my problems to my HP.
• a stronger connection with my Higher Power. Because my HP is here for me and not here to help me solve everyone else’s problems, I am immediately more connected with my HP when I focus on myself. And my HP is always pleased to have me back!
• myself. Wow, what a concept! By focusing on myself, I discover myself! I discover my personal truths, my beliefs, my desires, my goals, my strengths, my fears, my weaknesses, my insecurities. There are, of course, times when this is too overwhelming and daunting for me. Then I try to remember to Keep It Simple, by taking it One Day At A Time and finding something to focus on Just for Today. But I do remain grateful for this gift of myself, to myself.
• a new perspective. All of the discoveries above lead me to new perspectives about myself, about others, about the world, about my relationship with others and about my place in the world.

- Peggy P.

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Groups at Assembly:
I was inspired by the upside-down triangle diagram from the July/August Alagram to add some thoughts about why the “base” of the triangle, the group level of the organization, is shown at the top.  The groups are the lifeblood of Al-Anon Family Groups (AFG). Placing them at the top of the picture is a visual reminder that the “higher” levels of the organization (District, Area and World) are only there to serve and support the groups.

In case you are wondering where we are on that triangle, District 5 covers Sonoma and Napa Counties and has 48 groups, which is to say 48 Al-Anon meetings per week. We are one of 27 Districts in the Northern California World Service Area (NCWSA), which is Area 3 of Al-Anon Family Groups' World Service Organization (WSO). The Districts range from the northern edge of California down to Monterey, Kings, and Tulare Counties. The Area is divided into three parts, with September's Assembly having been held in the central part this year, in Modesto.

During July, I attended an Al-Anon meeting that read from the Tradition Seven section of Paths to Recovery. One part that stood out to me was this:
By satisfying group expenses, we “are contributing to keeping one meeting available, and that is significant. However, as members of a worldwide fellowship, we eventually discover how vast our community really is and how important the services are that we sometimes take for granted. The groups are the foundation of Al-Anon and have the final say in the fellowship, but a group can have no say unless it participates and sends a voice through an elected group representative [emphasis added]” (pp. 193-194).

So groups, give yourselves a pat on the back for having sent your GRs to the Area Assembly. Every group’s input is vital. Every person who reads this should feel good about being a part of this important tradition. Whether you are someone doing service or someone attending a group in our active District, you make a difference!

Love in Service,
Debbie

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District Holler:
"District 5 is So Alive, and That's No Jive!" This was sounded off by at least 20+ people from Sonoma and Napa counties when Erik our District 5 Rep went to the podium to give his report to the groups.

This was my first time attending a NCWSA Assembly as a group rep for the AFG  Friday Church of the Roses 8:00 PM. I kept an open mind as to what this weekend would entail and I truly was surprised, impressed, and enjoyed myself. This weekend showed me that this was a group of reps sharing our ideas and making decisions for Al-Anon as a whole. Our goal was to bring our meeting group ideas to the assembly to be combined for presentations by Sandi, who is our northern CA delegate, who will then take our input back to the WSC (World Service Conference).

I'm grateful to be surrounded by the women and men who were there sharing the language of AL-Anon with me.

With Gratitude,
Vickie J.

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A GR’s Assembly Report:
Assembly was held in Modesto, Sept. 8, 2006, hosted by District 18. I rode down with another GR (group representative), which is always a great way to share program, friendship and fellowship, along with the cost containment for my group since we shared a room as well - gas and program!

174 GRs attended the morning session on Saturday, and by the time we had a motion on the floor to vote on, the count was up to 195! District 5 had at least twenty GRs show up. I felt so excited and so into the concept "participation is the key to harmony" with my district "family group." Being an only child of two alcoholic parents, I had always dreamed of what it would be like to have siblings. I now can say I have that extended family in Al-Anon Family Groups. I love every minute of the time I spend with other members.

The Saturday session started out with the Steps, Traditions, and Concepts read. The Traditions were read like I had never heard them read before! I guess you had to have been there!

The Roll Call is a fun ice breaker, since a few years back a tradition was started that all the districts create a "District Holler." District 5’s holler goes something like this:

We are District Five
We’re so Alive
And that's no Jive!

Yes, we've got wine
But we don’t whine!
And we don’t pine,
Cause this program’s mine
So we’re all fine!

Sounds hard to have 20 of us say this altogether, doesn’t it? It was.

Throughout the two days we heard other Districts share what they have been doing throughout the year, and it’s a chance to share info about what and when their events and workshops are happening.

I felt a stronger focus on these shares more so this year, since being one of the Special Events Coordinators involves getting ideas and sharing them with others. The meaning of "God does not call the Qualified, God Qualifies the called" rings true for me today! I come back from attending Assembly with so much more than I went there with. It really helps me to stay humble and open-minded. This feels like progress and not perfection for me in recovery.

I was also very inspired by members of our own district taking on Area levels of service. It felt like my growth as well, since to recognize the good job in someone else’s recovery shows hope for the future of Al-Anon and mine!

Here’s some program "nuggets" I heard at Assembly:

• "We are all in different levels of confusion"
• "God is present in the Groups’ consciousness in what we like and in what we do not like"
• Concept One = Responsibility
• Concept Two = Accountability
• Concept Five = Listen
• "We all have the right to be heard, not the right to be right"
• Concept Six = Trust the Trustee
• Concept Nine= Leadership
• "Leaders in the program are transparent; they are willing to provide information"
• "Double headed management (Doing the job after someone else does it!) is avoided"
• "Democratic in thought and action"
• "Pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is optional"
• "When expectations are high, acceptance is low"
• "Service forces you to face yourself"

I heard one member share an Acronym she made for the word SERVICE:

S Serenity
E Efficient
R Restful
V Valued
I Integrity
C Compassionate
E Essential

A skit was presented on "Anonymity." That was an eye-opener and very humorous. Anonymity does not mean invisibility. We are not a secret organization.

As usual, I love to vote, and we did vote on a few things. We voted to accept the budget. We voted and approved giving Alateen money for WCAC (West Coast Alateen Conference) to coincide with 50th Anniversary of Alateen. We voted to table the motion for the Delegate to ask the WSC (World Service Conference) to change the wording in the Service Manual regarding service by dual members above the group level. The votes were 102 yes, 69 no, 15 abstaining, so we will discuss this next year. We also voted to have better translation tools for Spanish-speaking GRs.

We watched the Public Service Announcement (PSA), titled "What it’s Like." I thought of my relatives affected by this disease. The PSA was beautiful. It will be available on DVD as well as video tape.

There will be a committee formed from the motions to possibly change the weekend and month of the Assembly.

That’s all I can remember! It’s a growth experience for me as always. I hope more members will want to experience the Assembly, since it is so vital for Worldwide Al-Anon to hear all our voices and to send the message of hope. I am so grateful for the opportunity to serve at this level. I thank my group for sending me.

As always, Love in Service,
Pattie

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District 5's website and its newsletter, The Alagram, gratefully publish articles contributed by Al-Anon members from the district. The opinions expressed are strictly those of the contributor. "Take what you like and leave the rest."

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