Member Share Topic - Al-Anon Event:
“A Day in Al-Anon…”

I attended my first one, traveling to District 15’s last month in San Leandro. Father Tom W. was the Al-Anon speaker, Renee the AA speaker. I really had a fabulous time….the workshops, the salad potluck, the décor and lunch time entertainment, what an awesome District.

Didn’t really know what “A Day in Al-Anon” even was just a few weeks ago when an Al-Anon asked at my home group if we had them here. But my best trait (willingness) combined with my almost cheerleader enthusiasm FOR any Al-Anon recovery modality for my Al-Anonism… well, I was going no matter what.

I am so grateful for so much….for my higher power to get me to Al-Anon some 3 years ago, for an excellent sponsor who has helped me so much, for the awareness that that week did not dissipate so I knew what workshop to attend first of the three choices, (there were 3 choices for 3 different hours for Al-Anons, 2 choices for Alateens, and 1, I believe, for AAs).

I jammed into “Re-building my Self-Respect,” right on time. Exactly where I needed to be, having had the experience of re-telling my 12-month-sober sister earlier that week a story that “USED to make me cry,” and crying like it was the first time, that ending of “Just for Today, ...{and} to believe that as I give to the world so the world will give to me.” I shared and spoke of my dream of having to not apologize for my existence, and to help others that share this experience, of not saying THE S-word, (SORRY), too easily, too often….need to save that for real stuff, for Step 10, etc.

The silent auction for great gift baskets was nice, and registration got ya one ticket for the drawing for some cool gifts. There were CDs on sale, AA and Al-Anon, all our favorites, and Alateen craft items. I bought the last wish box, and “love” bracelet.

The decorations included red tool boxes with cutouts of hammers and such, with words such as “meditation” and “prayer” upon them, nestled in red tissue paper. Upon each table was a folded, standing Step, with the Tradition of the same number on the other side. Before the speakers, each table recited their number, and this was unity in action, loved THAT.

So, some tidbits from Tom W’s share, and I bought it, of course. Something akin to: “We helpers, who tend to be priests, teachers, social workers, and such, we want to help SO MUCH, need 100,000 Al-Anon meetings. And that’s NOT to FIX us, it’s just to take the edge off….” …and the Gorilla story with a twist, please just let me vacuum, I JUST WANNA VACUUM, SO funny, so true for me, for others I know, like we bargain with our disease just like the alcoholic, can’t we just clean up, or deliver wholesome food?!

Anyway, I look forward to our Service Workshop in November, and the Bash celebration December 1st. Like my favorite celebrity Al-Anon says, “No one gets down like people in recovery.”

Thanks for lettin’ me share,
Marcy

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Member Share Poems:
Here is a poem written by a young woman who has been in the program for about two months. She says writing helps her cope with what is happening in her life right now. We all know about living in the present. After reading this poem, I remembered how hard it was for me when I was new to the program. I also wrote a lot. It is cleansing, healing, and I love looking back on what I wrote. It takes a lot of courage to share feelings of pain, and Rose's poems are sure to touch your heart in some way. - Jenny H., Alagram Editor

The Other Night

The other night
It got too much
Too much once again
I am at the point
I don’t want it happening again
You may say or you may think
That I am just over-reacting
You may say or you may think
That it was not as bad as I may think
But you were not the one in my place
You were not the one with a very sad face
I know we are happy a lot of the time
I know that it doesn't happen that much
But when it does it hurts
I do not and should not have to deal with this anymore
The heavy drinking you do from time to time
Is making me very unhappy
I know you say you love me
And a lot of the time you show it
But the times when you are drinking
It just doesn’t feel the same
When you drink
Things seem bigger then they really are
An argument happens over something that should not
And it just feels at times it’s gone too far
We need help to bring this relationship
Back to where it needs to be
We need to bring it back
To where it’s meant to be

- Rose W.

A Sad Place

I have no sponsor, and at times I am in a sad place. Whenever he drinks it upsets me, even just a sip, and I tense up, worried what will happen.

He says he controls his anger pretty well compared to how he use to be, and that is scary enough.

He tries to get help but they all cost too much, or his insurance won't cover it. So we are going to the J.C., and they give you free counseling as long as you take a class. We are taking couple counseling, and I feel that will work, and he wants anger management but they cost too much, and he doesn't go to AA.

He has to want to quit drinking, but I don't think he ever will. He said he wouldn't stop ever.

I think if he did, things would be a lot better, but it's his disease. I do not want us to break up, but it might lead that way, and that is the main thing that is making me sad.

Thank you for everything,
Rose

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Member Share:
Living In The Present

September is my birthday month --­ not only the month of my natural birth, but the month I joined Al-Anon. My Al-Anon birthday is far more delightful a celebration to me, and I believe it was not coincidence that I came to Al-Anon in September.

As a child of an alcoholic family, being the third of four children, I put my needs below the rest of my family's. I was the one who laughed during the roar of grief and tried to keep humor alive. I was the sad clown.

My life before Al-Anon was a series of disappointments and unhappiness. When I came into the program, I was dwelling on all the sadness, on the negative and lonely thoughts in my life.

Now, after five years in the program, going to Al-Anon meetings, working the steps with my sponsor, doing service, and reading anything I can about recovery, I have the guidance to live in the present. This concept of the program is what helps to keep me humble, and I try to stay focused on what is really important at this moment.

It took a long time practicing and doing a lot of meditation to reach a point where I can do the best I can to look inward and find moments of peace during the day. I am not cured yet, and I know alcoholism is just a symptom of a family disease, but I am sure the program has given me a serenity I never knew was possible.

I want to walk the walk.
Not just talk the talk

- Jenny H.

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Member Share - a Dance Poem:
Inspirations from Above
Surrendered … from the Inside Out

“Inspired to dance from my heart, I freely give that which is freely given to me.”

The inspiration of this choreography comes from the joy of surrendering to a power greater than myself. Through prayer, the motivation to move slowly, simply & intentionally, began to emerge.

As I learn to simply slow down,
I am able to feel what’s really going on below the surface,
Choose to let go of any pain from the past &
Receive healing inside my heart.

As I learn to be still when my mind is racing or
Be silent when emotions are raging,
I am able to surrender my concerns,
Choose to let go of any fear, doubt or worry &
Receive peace in the middle of a storm.

As I slowly learn to trust a new friend or
Share a smile with a stranger,
I am able to pray for healing,
Choose to let go of any anger or unforgiveness &
Receive love from Above for others.

As I learn to slow down, be still, stand up, or dance,
I am able to discover who I really am,
Choose to enjoy myself in the moment &
Move from the Inside Out.

As I learn to live from the Inside Out
I am able to surrender to the power greater than myself,
Choose to let go of who I think I should be for others &
Pursue the heart of God; full of love, joy, peace, clarity, healing, grace & beauty, to freely share with others.

- Joanna

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Member Share Topic - 7th Step:
The third time is a charm…

I have been blessed with the opportunity to work with several sponsors. I was lucky to work the steps all the way through with three of them, and it was different every time. Each time the recovery was at a deeper level.

The third time through, my sponsor surprised me by assigning me the task of actually writing a 7th step prayer. I was told not to focus on what was wrong with me that I wanted changed. I was encouraged to ask to become the person I truly wanted to be, which meant I had to spend some time and actually think about who I was at my core that was being obstructed by my “character defects.”

We both felt that all those good qualities have always been there but had become buried under unhealthy habits and thinking due to the family disease of alcoholism. Her reasoning was that if I were able to truly work at being the best person I could be, these “defects”/ obstacles would spontaneously diminish to be replaced with the good qualities.

I really appreciated this approach, because by the time I finished the 4th Step workbook Blueprint for Progress - which I used on the third time through only - I was feeling a bit beaten up and discouraged. This new approach helped me to regroup and concentrate on my good qualities or qualities that I wanted to cultivate in my life.

Needless to say it took a while to research exactly what forms of prayer exist and then come up with my own prayer. My sponsor asked me to think about where I was stuck or where I struggled, and what I wanted to cultivate. In addition to acknowledging these things in the prayer, she encouraged me to use some form of devotional tone, and to use some form of honorific title for Higher Power.

This task has been more helpful in deepening my connection to my Higher Power than any other assignment. To this day, I keep my 7th Step prayer on my refrigerator as a reminder of who I am trying to become with Higher Power’s help. Here it is:

Loving Spirit,
Please grant me the courage and willingness to continue my journey in recovery, no matter how painful or difficult it may be. Help me learn self acceptance and self love despite my shortcomings. Guide me in being accepting, kind and compassionate to all beings, especially those who challenge my beliefs and peace of mind. With your support, may I come to appreciate life’s difficulties knowing that the greatest growth is achieved in their wake. I pray to you that I may walk in peace, kindness and love.

Together with you in the spirit of recovery,
Jessica G.

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District 5's website and its newsletter, The Alagram, gratefully publish articles contributed by Al-Anon members from the District. The opinions expressed are strictly those of the contributor. "Take what you like and leave the rest."

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